The Cynic Gazette

I’m so glad that I have a PS3 for all of my Blu-ray playing needs, because in addition to both of the great PS3 games that have been released, you can download shopping bags full of kickass like Pain, the most amusing game ever made by anyone ever.

Until now. And by now I mean sometime this spring.

Coming out soon for download on XBOX Live and the Playstation 3 Network is “Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball.” But oh no, it doesn’t stop there. There’s a robot team and a zombie team too. JOY!

Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball trailer, care of kotaku.com:

Joisey Mike Technology ninjas, pirates, ps3, video games, xbox360, zombies

Have you ever been in that thought mode where you can think of “that guy who did the thing and was in X, Y and Z movies?” Or “I loved that one hard candy, I forget the name but it seemed like it always came in watermelon?” This, today, is me. I seem to be knocking out the descriptive versions of everything with Alex Trebek-like precision, but coming up with precisely dick when it comes to the proper nouns. Luckily, when my recent spat of these occurred (almost exactly the questions above), Meagan and some random girl at a nearby table were able to fill in the blanks (Cybil Shepard and Jolly Ranchers, but not in that order).

My dreams were in a complete survival-horror kick last night. One landed a group of us in a war zone, but actively being chased by bad guys. There were a few WTF moments when I woke up and reflected, but mostly due to the cast of the dream including someone as a good guy who I (and most of the regular group) clearly don’t like very much and haven’t thought about in over a year.

The second one was a little more interesting. I was staying at a house outside Denver, and there was some talk about going to the city to meet up with friends there and a short argument about waiting for it to stop raining before leaving. Eventually I was convinced to go, so we decided to sprint all the way to Denver. This wasn’t normal dream running when you’re trying to get away from the killer and it seems like your feet are barely moving; we were sprinting at the same speed as the cars were driving, but since it was a dream, the only odd thing about that was running into Chris the hippie who was bicycling down the road.

We arrive at the city of Denver, which is surrounded by debris, boards and chain link fences because, wouldn’t you know it, the city’s fallen victim to a zombie plague. Somehow, nobody was surprised; I think we had a feeling that might happen. We decide to fight our way in to rescue my friend Bridgette (who lives there for real, so finally something’s correlating with reality), and as I’m thinking I need to call Greg who’d really get a kick of the upcoming zombie massacre, I see the cause of the zombie plague, who unfortunately wasn’t compensated for in my zombie plan.

Ed Begley Jr.

He was shooting people with worms out of a blowgun, and that was somehow turning them into zombies. I had just turned a corner through the chain link fence when he called my name and shot me dead-center in the chest. Luckily, worms don’t have the structural integrity of bullets and didn’t make skin contact, so I was able to knock it away before joining the legions of the undead. As two people tried to tackle Ed, he was shooting his worms everywhere, and suddenly I woke up.

The funny thing is, with Ed Begley Jr., I know his name, but can’t name a damn thing he’s been in. I guess that means I’m either cured, or it’s time to go home. Only time will tell.

Joisey Mike Random dreams, zombies

I just shiver-twitched (is there a word for this? maybe in the “Meaning of Liff”) so hard I almost knocked myself completely out of my chair and into the Gazelle. That means it’s blogging time! That, and I have workday ADD. Imagine that.

Spotlight on Urbandead.com

Good idea. Crap execution. The idea to have a text-only adventure with a colorful map is cool, but being limited to 50 moves is a little limiting:

shoot a zombie once – 1 move. 
walk to the left – 1 move.
go through a door – 1 move.
watch Rock of Love on VH1 – 1 move.

Five minutes later and you’re done until your moves refresh at a rate of one move every half hour, up to a total of — you guessed it — 50. So, it’s not enough interactivity to entertain me, since I wasn’t even able to walk around the block and kill a zombie in my first sitting. Next.

The 200 Shitty Comic Challenge

This is great; after being challenged by another webcomic artist, the guy who runs nedroid.com took a challenge to write 200 shitty web comics. Some of them had me giggling my ass off and it’s worth checking out. 

Frickin sports

Random funfact: I’ve NEVER owned clothing for a sports team I wasn’t on. So, luckily, a gun wasn’t held to my head to wear a jersey to the Raven’s scrimmage the weekend before last. Of course, there’s still bad blood brewing from a long time ago when I didn’t wear purple to a Raven’s game, but that’s besides the point.

So yeah. Pro scrimmages. They’re nifty. They’re like games where the players don’t care, nobody keeps score, they don’t kick-off, and you get really good seats. Well, upon reflection, they really are games where the players don’t care, nobody keeps score, they don’t kick-off, and you get really good seats. Oh and they stop serving beer after an hour. We still had the fun.

PS3

I have a PS3 now. If you do, lets go online and kill each other.

Sudden one-word mysterious ending

Pancake!

Joisey Mike 4th Wall, Random zombies

Another case of workday ADD has taken a hold, so let’s review some of the hilights of my day. Oh wait, Emily (who declared me the guy who makes it cool to be weird) just emailed me, I’m gonna go read it. BRB. 

OK, I’m back. So, instead of taking screenshots of online textbook pages (oh, what fun!) I’m going to eat your brain. By eat your brain, I of course mean tell you about my day.

Random Insta-obsessions

Jonathan Coulton
Mike introduced me to his song “Re: Your Brains” the other day, so I did some research and bought the album it was on from iTunes. This guy’s great, the album, “Thing a Week Two” is part of his “Thing a Week” project, releasing a new song every week for a year. It feels like Ben Folds if you swiped his piano and gave him an acoustic guitar… really folk-rocky. And he does a cover of “Baby Got Back”, but that’s on a different album. I’m going to get it and see how it feels toe-to-toe against Richard Cheese’s cover.

Urban Dead
This massively multiplayer ***FREE*** browser based game has you as a survivor (read: living human) or a zombie (read: chainsaw fodder) in a city (read: cit… oh, right). I haven’t had the chance to play it yet, but I love the premise. From the reviews I’ve read, I’ve heard that it’s mostly text based with few graphic elements, which is cool since I was into oldschool Infocom games in the mid-80s like Zork, the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and Wishbringer. Never MUDs though. That’s worse than Magic: The Gathering. How’s this game different from a MUD? Shut up, that’s how.

It’s gold Jerry, Gold!

My favorite definition of the word chode from urbandictionary.com:    

    “A chode is a bunch of people that sit around and argue over the definition of the word chode.”

Quotes

Dating advice given:    

    “[15:46] kincaidKMF: I have a rule of thumb I ascribe to pretty strongly: don’t listen to anyone who hasn’t been on a date with anyone new in almost 30 years.”

Commenting on walking to Best Buy on my lunch break, even though it’s pretty hot outside:    

    “I’d like to think that my legacy, once I’ve passed into the great beyond, is to be known as the kind of guy who would walk to Best Buy. As long as it’s not that far. And open.”

On the phone to an insurance adjuster:    

    “So basically I’m the first person this week not to use the phrase ‘lord have mercy’ three times already by this point during the conversation? I’m not to likely to clutch my pearl necknace and say ‘oh, my heaveans’ either. It’s not that I don’t think pearls make me pretty, but I’m not into wearing necklaces.”

Summing it up with H2 tags

Well, I’m gonna go home now. I think the fact that I just promised to set up a wireless printer for a friend the next time I’m in Vegas means that’s enough computer’n for the day. Sing it with me now… “All we want to do is eat your brains…”

Joisey Mike 4th Wall, Geek, Random Jonathan Coulton, me, zombies